Curiosity, Part II: How to be curious and kind
Curiosity, Part II: How to be curious and kind Heading link
Remember the article before, where we talked about being curious? Being curious means that you keep your mind open instead of negatively judging something or someone. Maybe you’ve practiced being curious already while completing your speaking and listening logs. Maybe you wonder, “Why did that actor say that in the TV show?” or “What do white Americans think about . . .?”
If you have these questions in your mind, you’re ready for step two! This next step is asking questions to get the information you need. But how can you ask in a nice way? What if you say the wrong thing, or someone is offended?
Here are some ideas and phrases you can use when you ask a question, to help the other person feel comfortable:
”I noticed that . . .”
- This phrase is always a good way to start a topic. Using it makes people feel like you aren’t judging, but just watching.
- Example: “I noticed that many Americans drive to work. Do you know why?”
“Can you help me understand . . .”
- Avoid starting a conversation with only, “Why …?” It can sound like you are disagreeing with or judging the person you are speaking to. If you ask them to help you understand, then your question is clear, polite and kind.
- Example: “Can you help me understand why some people drive to work instead of taking a train?”
“some,” or “sometimes”
- Avoid saying “all” or “always” when you’re talking about your observations. It can sound like you’re labelling or stereotyping an entire group of people. (To stereotype (v.) is to believe unfairly that all people or things with a particular characteristic are the same.) Using “some,” or “sometimes” shows that you are you are just asking about the specific people that you observed.
- Example: “I noticed that some Americans talk loudly in the cafe or on the street. Can you help me understand why?” (Instead of “All Americans always talk so loudly in the cafe or on the street.”)
If you try any of these tips, let us know how it went. Email Anna at tutorium@uic.edu!